30, a number which rejuvenates me with energy, maturity and confidence. I'm less shy about expressing myself, more controlled in temper, still cynical, and have more courage facing the unknown. I want to boost my positive vibes further by jotting down 30 experiences/achievements.
#1 Led a project on my own initiative, with a mini 3 person team
#2 Attended e-commerce conference on my own initiative and by myself
#3 Booked and decided all wedding vendors myself
#4 Worked out daily
#5 Cut down on carbs, no rice at all for dinner
#6 Shops and exchanges at net a porter for the first time
#7 Tried ash green color for the hair
#8 Became freelance translator
#9 Continued as a World Vision donor
#10 Became a panelist at a digital talk
#11 Started brainstorms on DPG business
#12 Applied for wedding registration myself
#13 Got headhunted twice
#14 Went New Zealand with parents for the first time
#15 Grew hair (now 3 inches below shoulder!)
#16 Started paying for house's electricity and water bills
#17 Designed own dress
#18 Tailors made dress for the first time sponsored by loving parents and mil
#19 Tried on wedding gowns
#20 Fetch bobs to work in the morning before my work
#21 Rejected renewal of facial package
#22 Planned a money balloon surprise for bob's 30th birthday
#23 Went pre honeymoon trip to Istanbul. Disliked the idea and fell in love with the place after.
#24 Took 3 X Bosphorus cruises, one of it with the famed bellydance
#25 Drank pomegranate juice for the first time. And continuously for another 5,6 days.
#26 Got a historical handwoven Turkish carpet as a wedding gift from husband
#27 Planned and executed the ROM session in just 2 days' time
#28 Celebrated and danced a night of own wedding + after party, and dolled up again for second night's wedding still flashing bright smiles at a more formal celebration
#29 Gifted the most number of flowers i've ever received in my life. Probably 10 bunches in total.
#30 Left job, family comfort to SG to build new life, career, and family.
Summary: Chip at 30 is still emotionally and physically attached to loved ones, and is always ready for a good time with people i like. I became slightly more independent, knowing to move forward and make decisions when required, and am able to feed from support network and own infinite pool of optimism to help me brave the path ahead.
Friday, January 22, 2016
Patience is rewarded always
By not just sitting there doing nothing.
I was in a job hunting frenzy (sending out resumes to different contacts of the same agency given by different sources almost equals to desperation) ever since i arrived in SG. I took a hiatus in December and had been thoroughly enjoying myself with the leisurely routine of waking up and worrying about nothing except for groceries.
However, i miss being able to splurge or buy something that i want without depending on another person. And i do hate the big capital DEPENDENT on my pass. I want a bank account so badly to feel a sense of belonging. And i want to be able to go and pursue all my hobbies without being told i have a limit in spending. Or be reminded that i'm spending too much. That word of 'overspending' actually has never occurred in my life as i'm a thrifty person but when one person is providing for two, then the word seems to be naturally exist in a weekly conversation.
So, I tried 2 times. I struck 2 times. Never mind, during the waiting period of another interview call, I enhance my own knowledge by subscribing to numerous digital blogs. I improved my culinary preparation skills and am getting faster in preparing a 30 min meal although the cooking still lacks finesse or has too much salt. I also studied for the Google Adword Exam (goodness, how boring the rows and rows of words are, it definitely could use more engaging and compelling descriptions to get the reader hooked. Even the video is boring because it is narrated in a very formal way, reminds me of lectures) and its exam guide has very solid explanations which helped warm my homemaker mind up to the digital marketing world again which i appreciate. Still another paper to go before i'm certified.
While i'm doing all these things, another lady is hard at work connecting me with the right job fit and even went all the way as in to help me understand the local culture better prior to getting job interview. She has been superbly helpful and kind and her motivation in taking up several interesting hobbies together with her busy work life helps me realize that i need to have more discipline to pursue the interests which i've always yapped about but not trying hard enough.
With her help and connection, i got a job interview. I might be getting a job offer as the vibes are positive. It is a contractual job but it might turn out to be a permanent one. The future is not even certain for the organization so change could be very welcoming, one that i don't mind being swept along so that i have a chance to swim with everyone else.
Sail with the tide, but always keep your hands and mind full of positive interests.
She shared with me this quote which i'll keep it to heart:
I was in a job hunting frenzy (sending out resumes to different contacts of the same agency given by different sources almost equals to desperation) ever since i arrived in SG. I took a hiatus in December and had been thoroughly enjoying myself with the leisurely routine of waking up and worrying about nothing except for groceries.
However, i miss being able to splurge or buy something that i want without depending on another person. And i do hate the big capital DEPENDENT on my pass. I want a bank account so badly to feel a sense of belonging. And i want to be able to go and pursue all my hobbies without being told i have a limit in spending. Or be reminded that i'm spending too much. That word of 'overspending' actually has never occurred in my life as i'm a thrifty person but when one person is providing for two, then the word seems to be naturally exist in a weekly conversation.
So, I tried 2 times. I struck 2 times. Never mind, during the waiting period of another interview call, I enhance my own knowledge by subscribing to numerous digital blogs. I improved my culinary preparation skills and am getting faster in preparing a 30 min meal although the cooking still lacks finesse or has too much salt. I also studied for the Google Adword Exam (goodness, how boring the rows and rows of words are, it definitely could use more engaging and compelling descriptions to get the reader hooked. Even the video is boring because it is narrated in a very formal way, reminds me of lectures) and its exam guide has very solid explanations which helped warm my homemaker mind up to the digital marketing world again which i appreciate. Still another paper to go before i'm certified.
While i'm doing all these things, another lady is hard at work connecting me with the right job fit and even went all the way as in to help me understand the local culture better prior to getting job interview. She has been superbly helpful and kind and her motivation in taking up several interesting hobbies together with her busy work life helps me realize that i need to have more discipline to pursue the interests which i've always yapped about but not trying hard enough.
With her help and connection, i got a job interview. I might be getting a job offer as the vibes are positive. It is a contractual job but it might turn out to be a permanent one. The future is not even certain for the organization so change could be very welcoming, one that i don't mind being swept along so that i have a chance to swim with everyone else.
Sail with the tide, but always keep your hands and mind full of positive interests.
She shared with me this quote which i'll keep it to heart:
“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it at full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be.”
Roald Dahl
Sunday, May 5, 2013
History Making Day for Malaysia
Since young, I've never understood the need to protest against the government. We were taught that we are in a stable, developing country with plenty of benefits and opportunities for the people. I learned that you simply can't say anything against the government because there are Internal Security Acts, Sedition Acts and a gazillion other acts popping up from no where, but which all can lock you away for whining or badmouthing about the government.
Until recent years, the daily safety of the nation is threatened to the extent that no mainstream media can cover up anymore. Day after day, from snatching to killing to murdering to raping to robbing to beating up people brutally in broad daylight is reported. I believe the coverage is just a small percentage of the crime cases cropping up everyday. At first, we were taught to always be alert, from not believing in strangers, to avoiding strangers, to now having nowhere to hide regardless of how careful you are because mad violent psychopaths are just everywhere stalking their preys.
The developments, funded by the people's blood and sweat, are turned into tolls, or injected into meaningless projects which are abandoned halfway, or costs an insane senseless amount of investment which only make certain manipulative unscrupulous unethical minorities richer continue to suck the hard-earned money of the majority. The ringgit gets smaller, inflation rates higher, and nobody under 30 years old who doesn't rely on their parents' wealth (if any) can afford a decent house of their own in a strategic location. And when they can afford a decent house, it's a location miles away from city centre, which takes a toll on their car expenses and sacrifices their time for the long distanced travel from work or leisure.
Yet, the government is still questioning why we want to change. Why not question themselves some of the inquiries below:
1. If our unis are of world class standard, then why do almost 100% of the higher ranked civil servants send their children overseas? including our country's leader?
2. If people feel safe with the current government's ability to maintain peace, why will we ask for change even though we know that change might mean instability?
3. Where are all the policemen if they are not patroling the streets? Why do they put up their sirens only when they are stuck in a jam? What is the daily routine of policemen?
4. Why is a landmark which house a maximum of 250 people (and that's already a generous estimation) who has little contributions has 4 private highways built exclusively for them? And the rest of the nation is stuck in jam night and day for an average of 1 hour even if the distance if just 15 mins drive (no jam) away?
5. Why as one of the few nations who has a steady supply of petroleum, we don't get free health benefits as citizen? Why Australia, a country that has no natural resources can offer health benefits as well as unemployment benefits to its people??
So many questions, so many whys, the list can go on endlessly. But, instead of ranting, I am going to do my part. Even though it's just one vote, it's going to be one of the most important ones which could change the nation for the better. I'm not asking for a complete drastic change, i'm requesting and praying for a balance of power.
If the two parties get equal votes, Malaysians will benefit from it. It's time to really SERVE the nation, civil reps. The nation is evaluating your KPIs so may you all ALWAYS WORK for us and keep the people in mind. It's time we advance forward, everyone.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
I'm at this stage where i feel lost and depressed
I've always told you that you love nobody but yourself. You denied it countless times, but i was only partially wrong. I now correct my statement: you think you are the centre of the universe and that as long as others obey your rules, they will be in your favor.
You are not seeking for love. You are seeking for people to worship you.
They say love is blind. It's the 9th year now, and I think that i'm going blind. I really don't understand why i cling onto this relationship so long to get abused physically and mentally. I'm going green with envy at the love and care other boyfriends shower on their girlfriends, or husbands on their wives. I keep giving excuses to myself that you are different, i love you and as long as i'm happy, this relationship will be good.
However, i have been crying for the past 3 days. It started with you flaring up, spewing a string of insulting remarks with a contorted facial expression which shows hatred for me. Then i will protest at your bad behavior and ends up being accused that I AM the CAUSE of your behavior.
I know that you are an extremely impatient person. I also understand that you choose your friends carefully and hangs out with them as much as you can if they get along with you in terms of intelligence and capability. As much as I am talented in other areas, I am not seen fit to mix with you and your friends because i'm less eloquent, less smart, less feminine, less polite. A lesser person.
This is what i don't get. You understand how i was right from the beginning. What did you see in me? What made you choose to 'love' me? The most basic thing about love is that when you love a person's strengths, you choose to accept the partner's weaknesses.
In these 2 years time, there's never a day you go without calling me names. 'Pig', 'Dog', 'Idiotic', 'Silly'...and the hurtful list goes on. I protested and you denied, and then you said i provoked you with my behavior. Again. Then again. Soon, you justified your name calling by pointing fingers at my behavior.
There are a lot of times i feel uncertain with my choices, and i need guidance and patience and understanding. But i don't get it from you. You tell me that i'm not supposed to ask another time, i'm supposed to understand by now that you are impatient and i should just shut my trap and not ask again. I don't have the right to ask questions again and again, even when i am unsure.
I tried really hard, i did. I used a gentler voice to make an inquiry because I want absolute confirmation. I'm scared i get the facts wrong. However, no matter what tone i use, you will have a rage. I wonder whether it is because the people in your elite group could never do wrong.
Or, maybe, in your eyes, i'm quite worthless. You call my dressing ugly, you call me ugly when my face is peeling, you say my hair is ugly, you pick on my appearances. Then, you call me an emotional wreck, bad tempered grouch, and just plain annoying.
You confuse me. We used to say we will talk everything out and there will be no thorns in our hearts. But i feel you are gradually despising and feeling ashamed of me as a partner.
I'm showered with love by my parents and my other friends and i dont need to put up with this. I've been supporting you through thick and thin and never did i doubt your ability and competence. I always encourage you when you are down. I always believe that you will make it big and be successful.
I think i was being too hopeful. You will reach your goals one day, but maybe i'm not the right one for you. I don't think my encouragement and love are sufficient anymore.
Question to you: Do you want me to let you go? I do not want to break up but i am unhappy. I always look forward to my weekends but i really don't understand why my weekends are so bleak during my time with you. After typing all this, i think that you deserve a partner of your equal match.
Maybe i have not improved all these years, and you are looking for someone different.
I only want a lifetime partner who can share my concerns and happiness with me, making me feel safe and sheltered all the time. My partner does not have to be rich, but all i need is his patient understanding and i will feel like i can do anything in this world.
Are you willing to be this person? Or, would you like to move on since we are moving in different directions?
You are not seeking for love. You are seeking for people to worship you.
They say love is blind. It's the 9th year now, and I think that i'm going blind. I really don't understand why i cling onto this relationship so long to get abused physically and mentally. I'm going green with envy at the love and care other boyfriends shower on their girlfriends, or husbands on their wives. I keep giving excuses to myself that you are different, i love you and as long as i'm happy, this relationship will be good.
However, i have been crying for the past 3 days. It started with you flaring up, spewing a string of insulting remarks with a contorted facial expression which shows hatred for me. Then i will protest at your bad behavior and ends up being accused that I AM the CAUSE of your behavior.
I know that you are an extremely impatient person. I also understand that you choose your friends carefully and hangs out with them as much as you can if they get along with you in terms of intelligence and capability. As much as I am talented in other areas, I am not seen fit to mix with you and your friends because i'm less eloquent, less smart, less feminine, less polite. A lesser person.
This is what i don't get. You understand how i was right from the beginning. What did you see in me? What made you choose to 'love' me? The most basic thing about love is that when you love a person's strengths, you choose to accept the partner's weaknesses.
In these 2 years time, there's never a day you go without calling me names. 'Pig', 'Dog', 'Idiotic', 'Silly'...and the hurtful list goes on. I protested and you denied, and then you said i provoked you with my behavior. Again. Then again. Soon, you justified your name calling by pointing fingers at my behavior.
There are a lot of times i feel uncertain with my choices, and i need guidance and patience and understanding. But i don't get it from you. You tell me that i'm not supposed to ask another time, i'm supposed to understand by now that you are impatient and i should just shut my trap and not ask again. I don't have the right to ask questions again and again, even when i am unsure.
I tried really hard, i did. I used a gentler voice to make an inquiry because I want absolute confirmation. I'm scared i get the facts wrong. However, no matter what tone i use, you will have a rage. I wonder whether it is because the people in your elite group could never do wrong.
Or, maybe, in your eyes, i'm quite worthless. You call my dressing ugly, you call me ugly when my face is peeling, you say my hair is ugly, you pick on my appearances. Then, you call me an emotional wreck, bad tempered grouch, and just plain annoying.
You confuse me. We used to say we will talk everything out and there will be no thorns in our hearts. But i feel you are gradually despising and feeling ashamed of me as a partner.
I'm showered with love by my parents and my other friends and i dont need to put up with this. I've been supporting you through thick and thin and never did i doubt your ability and competence. I always encourage you when you are down. I always believe that you will make it big and be successful.
I think i was being too hopeful. You will reach your goals one day, but maybe i'm not the right one for you. I don't think my encouragement and love are sufficient anymore.
Question to you: Do you want me to let you go? I do not want to break up but i am unhappy. I always look forward to my weekends but i really don't understand why my weekends are so bleak during my time with you. After typing all this, i think that you deserve a partner of your equal match.
Maybe i have not improved all these years, and you are looking for someone different.
I only want a lifetime partner who can share my concerns and happiness with me, making me feel safe and sheltered all the time. My partner does not have to be rich, but all i need is his patient understanding and i will feel like i can do anything in this world.
Are you willing to be this person? Or, would you like to move on since we are moving in different directions?
Friday, October 14, 2011
The Glamorous Part of My Job
The question I often get asked upon knowing my current working industry will be, "Do you get to see a lot of celebs?"
Yes, meeting people is probably the best part of my job. From corporate big shots to celebrities, these meetings help to ease my tension and stress, and gives me something to boast about to other banker friends who earn 10 times more in a minute than me. Of course, the boasting only takes effects when they know who i'm talking about.
This morning, I attended a shooting and met with one of the top 10, The Top 10, Dior makeup artiste from Taiwan. Then, during work, a mega local artiste came around to take pictures while we donate to a staff member.
And now, back to reality and my stressful mode staring into my virtual world.
Yes, meeting people is probably the best part of my job. From corporate big shots to celebrities, these meetings help to ease my tension and stress, and gives me something to boast about to other banker friends who earn 10 times more in a minute than me. Of course, the boasting only takes effects when they know who i'm talking about.
This morning, I attended a shooting and met with one of the top 10, The Top 10, Dior makeup artiste from Taiwan. Then, during work, a mega local artiste came around to take pictures while we donate to a staff member.
And now, back to reality and my stressful mode staring into my virtual world.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Reunion Night of 2011
Just came back from Hong Kong felt like a honeymoon trip:) We should do this more often because we share a lot of special moments as a couple only when we go on a trip alone, just the both of us.
It's now 2:02am, on 2nd February 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 22 hours to CNY 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's now 2:02am, on 2nd February 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 22 hours to CNY 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
An Outgoing Winter Solstice + Christmas
In past years, I've always been in my comfort zone, hanging out only with my parents and his family and our mutual friends.
After stating that he needs his own social circle, from the initial resistance of the idea, i gradually got used to him hanging out with his own gang, to enjoying my personal time to more time with my family, and currently, hanging out with different crowds.
Instead of leaving the company, I opt to change my miserable situation by venturing into a new path. I went from scorning to fearing to starting to like the challenges of sales. The greatest thing i've learned from sales so far is to be street smart. Always position yourself as the one with the upper hand to impress the clients and agencies, yet knowing when to compromise for mutual win.
I went in the new department preparing for the worst. I know clearly the reason i left the old department and was determined to focus on my current needs to realise ANY dreams of mine - money. Therefore, I didn't allow myself to be held back by any unnecessary thoughts like fear of adapting to the new environment, or having no friendly colleagues. Sales = Money was my only focus. I'm warned by too many real-life examples of people clinging onto their current position although they moan and bitch about either the job scope or remuneration because they have friends in the department.
I went about my usual friendly,smiling self and soon find myself knowing and getting close with some colleagues. From lunching and normal office chatter, I'm even joining in the plan of hanging out for pre-Christmas drinks with colleagues. The Chip 3 months ago would avoid such drinking plans at all costs if I'm not fully comfortable with the gang.
Besides expanding my social circle, I'm also finding my own passion and is working towards realizing my life goals. Sometimes, I even get bored just doing nothing at his house, thinking that I could have been using the same time to learn something else. I'm also cherishing my family time more and more, and I had a really fabulous time having dinner outside with my family in conjunction with Winter Solstice festival. We had a great time listening to sis gabbing away about her VIP experience at the first ever Asian Paralympic Games (first time she's ever shared so much with us) and came back with a fantastic surprise - new computer chairs!!! I'm sitting so comfortably now, thanks to dear daddy.
Can't wait to earn more money, know new people, achieving life goals one by one and realizing my dreams:))
After stating that he needs his own social circle, from the initial resistance of the idea, i gradually got used to him hanging out with his own gang, to enjoying my personal time to more time with my family, and currently, hanging out with different crowds.
Instead of leaving the company, I opt to change my miserable situation by venturing into a new path. I went from scorning to fearing to starting to like the challenges of sales. The greatest thing i've learned from sales so far is to be street smart. Always position yourself as the one with the upper hand to impress the clients and agencies, yet knowing when to compromise for mutual win.
I went in the new department preparing for the worst. I know clearly the reason i left the old department and was determined to focus on my current needs to realise ANY dreams of mine - money. Therefore, I didn't allow myself to be held back by any unnecessary thoughts like fear of adapting to the new environment, or having no friendly colleagues. Sales = Money was my only focus. I'm warned by too many real-life examples of people clinging onto their current position although they moan and bitch about either the job scope or remuneration because they have friends in the department.
I went about my usual friendly,smiling self and soon find myself knowing and getting close with some colleagues. From lunching and normal office chatter, I'm even joining in the plan of hanging out for pre-Christmas drinks with colleagues. The Chip 3 months ago would avoid such drinking plans at all costs if I'm not fully comfortable with the gang.
Besides expanding my social circle, I'm also finding my own passion and is working towards realizing my life goals. Sometimes, I even get bored just doing nothing at his house, thinking that I could have been using the same time to learn something else. I'm also cherishing my family time more and more, and I had a really fabulous time having dinner outside with my family in conjunction with Winter Solstice festival. We had a great time listening to sis gabbing away about her VIP experience at the first ever Asian Paralympic Games (first time she's ever shared so much with us) and came back with a fantastic surprise - new computer chairs!!! I'm sitting so comfortably now, thanks to dear daddy.
Can't wait to earn more money, know new people, achieving life goals one by one and realizing my dreams:))
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